Adventures of a 22yr old gay girl

Coast Out!! GLBT Fest to hit Coffs Harbour!

2010-03-27T09:27:00.002+11:00

WOW! I wake up this morning for my girlfriend to say "oi! Look at this! Say G'day to a Gay!". This is what was wrote in big letters, spread across my local newspaper. At first, i was pretty astounded. What's all this about then?

Turns out, Coffs Harbour is looking to host a GLBT Festival in the last weekend of October. How exciting? Not only will this raise awareness and acceptance of the local gay community, but it should also bring more people to the Coffs Coast and be great for our local economy! I am so pleased that something like this is happening so close to me. I think it's a brilliant idea! I think if this festival can keep up every year and be successful each time, everyone will benefit. Jobs, population growth, holiday makers, tourism boost, etc, etc!

So, if you want to find out more about Coast Out, you can find details at:

http://myspace.com/coast_out

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Coast-Out/311092138518

http://www.coffscoastadvocate.com.au/story/2010/03/27/gay-festival-for-coast/

http://twitter.com/coast_out

HOORAY! More details/updates of the fest will follow sooner to dates :)

Equal Rights - 85 Wear It With Pride

2010-03-25T20:04:00.006+11:00

Hi all,

First I would like to apologize for my lack of communication. For those of you who have been or is currently studying at uni, you will know what i'm going through!! I have been pretty much non stop and with other stuff going on on top of that, I simply haven't had the time!

Anyway, there is a new thing coming up! 85 Wear It With Pride! I'm loving the concept!! In 2008 the Federal Government changed 85 different laws so that same-sex couples would be recognised as having many of the same rights and obligations as different-sex de facto couples. T-shirts have been designed to symbolize this and as such, can be worn proudly to show your support! Love it! How great is it that after years and years of protests and letters and discussions, we are getting so much closer to equality.

If you want to find out more about 85 Wear it with Pride, follow the link: http://www.wearitwithpride.com.au A lot of celebrities are getting involved and are showing their support, such as Natalie Basingthwaite, Ruby Rose, The Veronicas and many more.

T-Shirts will be available soon for purchase... I know I'll be getting no. 45! x

Image: wearitwithpride.com.au

2010 - New Me

2010-01-28T21:03:00.001+11:00

Ok, so I have put on a bit of weight over the past... I don't know... 3 years? Slowly, but it's definately gotten worse. All through 2009, I've told myself week after week that "this is it" and vowed to lose weight once and for all... And then I'd fail and eat my failure... Again.

But I've decided once and for all that I'm just going to get it over with and 2010 is going to be the year for me to get back to the old me. I owe it to me, my health and my beautiful girlfriend. There is a history of high blood pressure and diabetes in my family, so I really need to get this under control.

It's been about 4 weeks through 2010 and I'm going ok. I'm not turning my blog in to a weight loss blog, but thought it was worth mentioning!

It's a bit late, but hope you all had a good New Years and looking forward to blogging in 2010!

- Val

I need to create!!

2009-12-11T20:50:00.002+11:00

Not create another life or anything... no... not now...

No. I need to create some artwork. I have know to dabble in a bit of painting, drawing, photography and the such, but i'm thinking of starting an arty sort of blog?...

Watch this space!

P.S: Sorry for the non-existent blogs as of late... I've been tied up... In a non-dirty way...

Dear Mr. Prime Minister

2009-11-27T17:57:00.002+11:00

Today I wrote a letter. I don't normally write letters to politicians, but I just felt like it today. So here goes nothing....

Dear Mr. K. Rudd, I am writing to you as a young Australian who happens to identify as homosexual. I know you must receive a lot of correspondence regarding gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans gender issues, but all I can do is let you know how I feel. I am a lesbian and although I do not intend to marry any time right now, in the back of my mind, I know that I can't. Not because I don't want to, but because Australian law says I can't. I understand that you are a religious man and I respect that. I understand you may not change the law because of your personal beliefs. I don't agree with that. I know a lot of people have religious concerns about gay marriage, but my concern is of human rights. I can't choose who I fall in love with, the same way you couldn't help falling in love with your wife. I just happen to fall in love with women. The common misconception of homosexuality, is that it is a choice. This is not true, as you may already know. All I am asking is that you think about the issue and raise the issue in the future. I realize a lot of people are against it, but at the same time, a lot of people are all for it, gay AND straight. I appreciate you reading my email and hope to hear a response from you sometime in the future.

Don't ask me, I'm just a girl!

2009-11-27T16:13:00.003+11:00

The other day, I was watching TV and a show about motor racing and cars came on. I'm not usually a fan of watching TV shows about cars, i'm more of a practical girl when it comes to cars. But, this particular show was talking about Holden's (oh yeah!) so I watched. That segment of the show finished and then it went to another segment about a woman learning how to maintain her car. Ok, a woman learning how to maintain her car. Could be useful for some of the ladies out there who aren't sure how to change the oil etc. But I kept watching and it made me angry, frustrated and just plain annoyed!

The woman they decided to use as their little experiment was beyond clueless. She talked like a 5 year-old asking her parents what petrol is. She didn't even know how to select the right oil at the local auto shop. She became nervous when it was suggested she might have to 'use a bit of muscle'. She giggled so many times, my ears hurt. Ok, so I know a lot of women are unsure about oil, oil filters, changing a flat, etc. but using this particular woman in this segment was just plain silly.

Now, i know a little bit about cars, which might have been why I was getting angry, but I thought that it was borderline offensive. No wonder mechanics never want to put girls on as apprentices because it's this kind of person they think all girls are like when it comes to working on a car. Sure, a guy can be a hairdresser, there's nothing wrong with that, but when a girl wants to be a mechanic, an engineer, a labourer, whatever, all of a sudden she's too weak or not good enough. A couple of jobs i've applied for, they have said "Now, there's a bit of heavy lifting, so I don't think it's very appropriate for... you". Bullshit.

I'd love to hear from any other women who have had any problems at work or social life regarding gender or orientation because it's so unfair for us to have to deal with stereotypes when trying to look for work or go through life. It's one thing I would love to see gone before I leave this life.

Image: theinstitute4womenautomechanics.com

Gay house???

2009-11-08T17:47:00.001+11:00

I was just looking through my local newspaper, as I do, and saw that there was a room available in a share house. Normal to see a few in the weekend paper but what surprised me was these two words: Gay friendly.

Now I have seen gay friendly rentals and rooms available in cities, but this is my small home town? I've had trouble even walking down the street without a judged stare! I've had trouble holding my girlfriends hand in public here. I was happily surprised to see it in my local paper.

Is there simply more homosexuals in my area? Or are we feeling like we can be more open about our sexualities? Or both? Whatever the answer is, I'm happy. I know it seems small and insignificant to see this is in the paper, but as someone once said to me, if we can gradually decrease the stigma of homosexuality, one person at a time, then we can slowly make our society accepting of anyone and everyone, regardless of sexuality.

- Val

Finally!

2009-11-01T00:22:00.001+11:00

Ahhh, this post is nothing important, really. I'm simply letting you all know (is there more than one of you out there??) that I'm still alive. I've just been a slack blogger lately. Truth is, everything has been so hectic, I don't think I've had enough time to scratch myself! Not that I scratch myself very often... Not THERE anyway. Geez.

I also am blogging from my iPod. This is new and I'm hoping it works out well because then I might actually have a chance to blog a bit more often. Possibly.

Anyway, hope you are all well. Take care!

- Val

The L Word

2009-10-01T11:54:00.008+10:00

No, people, i'm not talking about the brilliant TV show in this blog. I'm talking L. Love. How many times do you say to that special person "I love you?". How many times have you gone to say "I love you" to that person who you wished knew how you felt about them? Or, how many times have you said "I love you" and didn't mean it?

I think there is a massive stigma around the L word when people first date others or when they have a crush on that girl in reception. It's especially hard for us ladies who like the ladies and don't know whether the crush is a hot dog lover or a taco lover (!). You first date a person and after a few dates, you feel overwhelming feelings for that person. You want to tell them you love them, but don't want to seem like you're coming on too fast. Do you tell them? Do you wait for them to say it?

And after four years of being with your partner... OK, i'm just talking about myself now. After being with my girlfriend for four years, I try to tell her I love her everyday. I tell her how I feel.

So what's the difference between four months and four years? Why can't we be free to just tell the person we have feelings for them? Surely, it's not that hard to just express how we feel?? Today, I encourage you ladies out there to get on the phone, get in the car or walk down the hallway to that girl who you've been aching to tell all this time how you feel and just say it.

"I love you!"

Image: http://kelsea-kismet.deviantart.com/art/Love-is-77333728

Internet Dating Tip #1

2009-08-14T11:40:00.003+10:00

Ok, so as I constantly talk about relationships and life as a gay girl, I thought i'd mention avenues of Internet dating. After all, this is the 21st century! Just a bit of background information... I am a past user of gaydargirls.com. A successful outcome and after a couple of years of being in denial about meeting someone from the Internet, I am now proud to say that i've done it with no regrets. There... I said it... Happy?

Internet Dating Tip #1 - Be Open About What You Are Looking For.

For example, one ad I just looked at stated under the heading "Looking For...", all they wrote was "Fascination"... That one word really does narrow it down, doesn't it! Now, come on... Surely you can think of more than one word to explain the type of partner you're looking for. You could have even just written "A person with a fascination for balls of string" or "A person who has a fascination with large breasts" or even "A person who is looking to be fascinated by my amazing 'skills' in the bedroom". Any of these will do. At least from this we can tell that you're either looking for someone with a low IQ, someone who is possibly vain or someone to have sex with.

Your ad should at least tell your readers what you are looking for (casual sex, long-term relationship, someone to talk to...) and who you are looking for (Butch, baby dyke, feminine, femme, muscular...). Without at least these two components, you're wasting you're own time trying to weed out the respondants, and their time by replying to you when you have no interest in them.

So there's my first tip on Internet Dating. So have fun and don't forget to stay safe. (More tips coming soon...!)

Image: thenewgay.net

I'm not a lesbian, but my girlfriend is...

2009-08-12T19:24:00.003+10:00

So, today, I was talking with my girlfriend about bisexuality and being a lesbian. I am a lesbian (I prefer the term Gay, but whatever) and my girlfriend is bisexual. I am cool with it as you would know from my previous post about dating a bisexual lady. What we talked about today was the stereotype that even as a bisexual woman, if you are dating a woman, people always automatically assume you are a lesbian.

I then thought about whether one day, if my girlfriend left and went on to date a man, the reaction of friends may be "Oh, aren't you just so mad that she's now straight?" or "Well, looks like she's gone straight now, hey?". Hmmm. The truth is, she's not gay. Nor is she straight. She's the middle ground. The in between. The best-of-both-worlds gal. She's bisexual.

Why have we all (i'm sure the gay/lesbian community does it too and not just the heterosexual folk) made our everyday lives a stereotype? The way we think, the way we view our world and others around us... We label and name things. Do we really have to? Actually, we might have to. Forgive me for not giving a reliable source, but somewhere in the fling cabinet of my mind, I remember a quote that "In order to give power to someone or something, we name it". So in other words... A dog. It's just a dog. When we call it Scooby or Jake, it's not just any dog... It's gained a 'power' by being named. This might be the case with stereotyping?? I'm not sure... Example, we feel the need to stereotype or label people in order to give them power or maybe, lack of power.

All I know is that it's confusing and not right. I don't see why we need to label bisexuals as either gay or straight. They're neither and they're neither for a reason... Because they don't mind guys OR gals! So when someone tells you they are bisexual, don't think they're 'confused' or 'un-decided'. Think that they know what they want and who they want. :D

Images: Google Images/www.zazzle.com

I'm gonna be in hard form!!

2009-08-02T18:48:00.004+10:00

Not literally or anything, but under the advice of one of my readers (Thank-you, Nandoism! http://www.nandoism.com/) I decided to email LOTL magazine, Australia's top Lesbian publication. With a swift email back, I was told I could feature in the October Youth Issue and to write a piece about my life, myself and why I blog!

Hooray!! I may also be an online blogger for the online mag, so i'm waiting to hear about that too! I am so excited and am so very much thrilled to be able to show other lesbians who I am and hopefully get some more readers. LOTL Mag is awesome and i'm uber-excited.... ARGH!!

So, with this... I want to thank Nandoism for giving me the idea. I actually didn't think I was worthy of being... "known"! I also want to give a thank-you to readers past, present and future... There's more of me to come! =O

Don't you sometimes wish you weren't... you?

2009-07-31T21:09:00.004+10:00

I do... sometimes. I am sometimes put in to a position where I actually HATE being a lesbian. I hate it so much that for a split moment i seriously consider becoming straight just so that life can be a bit easier. It's not my girlfriends fault or anything like that! Let me put that straight (no, thats not a pun).

My girlfriend is out to her family and so am I. I have been fortunate enough to have a cousin who is also a lesbian and therefore, the family has been more inclined to accept me and my girlfriend without batting an eyelid... Well, that's my dad's side anyway. My mum is Fillipino and so her family is/will not be very accepting. It's not really in their culture I don't think. But I think Mum has finally come to terms with my sexuality.

My girlfriends family is a little different. Her parents are amazing and I really like them. They're great. They've always helped us out in hard times or offered support. It's some of my girlfriends friends and/or other family members. They obviously don't approve of me because before my girlfriend started dating me, they all talked to her and was fine.

My point is, sometimes I hate being gay. I sometimes hate the fact that some people are still so judgemental about homosexuality, especially family! I wish sometimes that I wasn't a burden on my girlfriend and wish she still had support from more of her family members.

I can't help but feel it is all my fault that they are like they are. I feel stuck like I should leave but I can't. That I should be straight, but I can't. I'm not going to deny who I am but at the same time I wish I did... It's all so confusing and I hate it...

Top Tips on Dating a Bisexual Girl (From a Lesbian Point-Of-View)

2009-07-18T22:05:00.004+10:00

Here are my Top 5 Tips on dating a bisexual woman from a lesbian point of view (that's me, if you didn't quite catch on...).

5. A relationship with a bisexual woman is not doomed from the start - I have heard that a lot of lesbians share the belief that a long-term relationship with a woman who defines herself as bisexual, is non-existent. This belief is also followed with "She'll only leave you for a guy!". Now, this may be true for some bisexual ladies, but not all. I have been with my girlfriend for nearly four years and she is bisexual. If this isn't a long-term relationship, I don't know what is!

4. Bisexual girls appear in all shapes and sizes - No longer are bisexual girls just the 'straight-looking' girl with long flowing hair, fake nails and tight mini-skirt, bisexual girls are as diverse as the common lesbian; dykey, butch, girlie, tomboy, boyish, feminine, etc.!

3. Bisexual does not = SLUT! - Again, this may not apply to all bisexual ladies, but just because she identifies as bisexual does not mean that she has been around the block more times than a cop-car on patrol.

2. Bisexual girls aren't dating you to get male attention - Pretty self-explanatory, but 'real' (i say 'real' becuase I know some girls who identify as bisexual but really they'll only kiss a girl and will never, ever have a relationship or have sex with a girl... i mean an actual bisexual girl who will do all the above with both sexes) bisexual girls are in a relationship with you because they like you, not to get that weird, gross, sleazy attention from men in bars... *shudder*

And finally......

1. Accept that she is attracted to men as well! - It may be odd to you. It may seem weird. It may feel like they are just unsure of who they are so they're with a girl... But the fact of the matter is, she will be attracted to men as well as women. That's why she's bisexual! Some lesbians have issues with bisexual girls loving both the taco and the sausage, but accept it. She's with you right now, right?

So, all in all, have fun, enjoy the ride, expect the wonderful, weird and wacky (both in public and the bedroom) and love her for who she is. ^_^

(Image from Google Images)

Yes, I do have money...

2009-07-08T20:47:00.003+10:00

I dress how I want. I usually wear comfy clothes or whatever is available in my cupboard. I sometimes wear my low-heeled boots (I don't need high ones... I already stand at 6ft tall!) and something 'dressy', but I admit, not always.

This also reigns true when I go shopping; grocery or otherwise. I went out today with my girlfriend to look at sofa's as ours is worn out (Not in a sexual 'we've-had-sex-on-the-couch-so-many-times-that-we-need-a-new-one' kinda way) as it's old and breaking. I found out I have a bit of money coming my way in a few weeks, so thought i'd check out what I can get my hands on for around $900.

We went to a furniture store and enquired about two sofas for $600. The woman looked slightly surprised, went to see if they had them in stock and spoke to another custmer service operator about it/us. Looking over at us in the distance, whispered something and then pouted their lips and scrunched up their noses as if they'd just smelt a bag of rotten milk, cheese and eggs mixed together.

At first I thought it was the homophobic thing; "Oh, those lesbians want to buy something... I don't wanna serve them!". But then I looked at my clothes and thought, "Maybe they don't think I have the money?".

It's not the first time it has happened. It's happened when looking to buy a laptop, a desk, a Wii, a Playstation 2 and 3 and even my heater I bought that looks like a fake fireplace (God, I love my heater!). I just wish that these retail assistants wouldn't judge my bank account by my clothes! Humphh!

Public Lesbianism

2009-07-01T23:38:00.004+10:00

Ok, this issue has pretty much plagued me for the past four years... The same amount of time that I have been with my current girlfriend. My first and current girlfriend.

Where I live, I know a fair few people. Sometimes people know me but I don't know them. I don't mean that in a big-headed kind of way. I mean that, I went to the local high school and am kinda known for my dramatic arts performances and so on. Younger kids from my school used to say hi to me in the corridors of the school and it's not that I couldn't be bothered to remember their names, it's just that there were friggin too many to remember!! And, i'm terrible with names....

Now, in my town, lesbians are still a bit... well... a bit out of the norm. I think it is, anyway. And if you see a lesbian, you will always know and refer to them as 'that lesbian we seen outside the newsagent' or 'that chick that we seen kissing that other girl'. It's wrong. It's silly. It's backward. But it's pretty much the way it is here. How do I know this even though I am gay? Because before I was openly 'out', people I knew always used to do it.

My issue is the issue of public lesbianism. I mean the hugging and kissing and holding hands in public thing. When you see a heterosexual couple doing it, if it's a peck or a holding of hands, it's sweet or cute. If the couple are borderline having sex on a park bench, then it's gross. You tell them to get a room!

When me and my girlfriend have a quick kiss or hold hands in public, I can't help but feel judged. I see the longer stares aimed at our hands holding. I feel the gazes linger longer than usual. I hear the quietened whispers of those around us. Because of this, we tend not to publicly show affection. What's worse is when there are teenage boys who yell out "Kiss!" or "Can I join in?" or even worse, the older, uglier, drunker, sleazier type who ask you to join in, laugh and joke about it, but are actually serious... Then they have that sneer on their face that just screams... SCREAMS... sleeeaaazzzeeeee ball.... ewwwww. *shudder*

Maybe it's just where I live? When we lived in Brisbane (Australia), it was so easy to walk hand in hand down the road. No-one stared. No-one said anything. No-one blinked an eyelid. It was just... comfortable. I have nothing against the girls out there who are happy to show their love to their women in their lives, but I feel a bit funny about it where I live. Especially when people I know (or know me) judge me or talk about me behind my back. I shouldn't care but seriously, how can you not? I am happy to be who I am and i've lost a fair amount of friends because of my sexuality, but I know who I am, who I love and who I can trust. I don't care what people think, but I do care about being stared at like some kind of science project that has gone incredibly wrong.

So, all i'm saying is, I am going to be happy when the town I live in accepts gay and lesbians openly. I will be happy when I can hold my girlfriends hand without the stares and whispers. I will be happy when society wakes up, knocks itself on the head and says "What the hell is all the fuss about, anyway?". Ahhh! x

I am NOT a MAN!!!

2009-06-28T22:31:00.006+10:00

Grrrrr..... I do not look like the above image.

Ok, so im at the pub with my girl and a man holds open a door for us... He simply says "Here you go, fellas". ... ... Umm... excuse me, but.... WE ARE BOTH GIRLS!

Geez, I hate that so so much! Even more so because now, I actually have mid-length hair. I can tie it up in a pony tail. I can straighten it and have it all long and "pretty"... And apparently, I still look like a guy...

My girlfriend on the other hand has short hair. I, personally, don't believe she looks like, typically dykey or anything. She looks like a girl with short hair! Girls can have short hair and not look like a guy. Example: MY GIRLFRIEND!

I actually tweeted and asked if other girls had had this happen to them. It has! We are not the only girls mistaken for men! Excellent start. So does that mean that people need to actually LOOK and SEE who they are talking to before they assume they are male or female? I would like to know if any men out there have been mistaken for women. Anyone?

In today's world you must have to have long flowing hair, a skirt and your tits hanging out to actually look like a girl. To look like a man, you must have short hair, trousers and ... i dunno what else.

So, in case you were still asking yourself. No, I am not a man. I am all woman, all female and love my girl who looks like a GIRL!

Katy Perry vs. Beth Ditto

2009-06-21T20:41:00.004+10:00

Hmmm... I'm not sure about this whole 'war of words' between these two songstresses... songstress's... songstresssss?!?!

Anyway, my point is... I read The Sun's article about the whole thing (thesun.co.uk) and turns out Beth Ditto, lead singer for The Gossip, thinks Katy Perry is offensive due to her release of the single "I Kissed a Girl". It's, apparently, offensive to Gay people.

Ok... I'm Gay... I'm not offended. I fucking love the song? I think it's great? I also think that Beth is over-reacting just a tad. Offensive to Gay people? That is a complete generalization of all Gay people. I don't think Katy releasing the song was a bad thing at all. If anything, it may have improved society's openess to homosexuality, especialy gay women.

I tink it's smart for Katy not to 'respond' to Beth as it would only fuel the fire. It's not like Katy sung "I kissed a girl and I thought it was gross and I also think all girls that kiss other girls are gross too", right? Come on, people. If i'm 'wrong', tell me. Tel me what is so wrong with enjoying a mainstream song about a 'taboo' subject. Now... I'm going to go and play some Katy Perry songs... and maybe a little of The Gossip too.... :D

Cupcake Day!

2009-06-20T20:56:00.003+10:00

Ahhh, the joys of uni holidays. Me and my partner spent the morning cleaning (boring! but hey, it needs to be done!) and then I spent the evening cooking! A chore to some (and at one stage in my life, to me too) but it was really good to do!

I had real bad menstrual cramps today so I kinda needed something to do... exercise? Or cook ridiculously fattening and sugary cupcakes followed by carb overload pasta bake?...... CUPCAKES AND CARBS!

I am pretty new to the whole cupcaking thing. I am a person who used to burn toast and have trouble heating up a can of baked beans in a microwave! But these days, i'm actually getting a grasp on cooking. I have my girlfriend to thank for that! It started by her teaching me how to cook hot-dogs (yes... hot-dogs... I never used to be able to heat up those things! Pfft!) and it continued from there!

And so, my day was pretty laid back, but i'm going to have to start exercising again soon.... These cupcake and carb cooking days are going to have a reaallll bad effect on me! Sigh! The joys of cooking!

Drunkedness And Awkwardness

2009-06-19T14:49:00.001+10:00

So me and my girlfriend went out last night. We had a quick dinner out followed by two hours of anticipation as to whether we won a chance to win a chance to win a car. Yes, I said that like I did... You have to win in a weekly draw to then win the actual car in a bigger draw. A complete rip off if you ask me!

After winning and losing on the pokies, we ended up watching a drunk guy continuously winning free spins on the pokie he was on. His friend eventually arrived and they both noticed we were watching their wins.

They invited us to sit with them which we did because we wanted to see how much he was winning. We're nosey like that! After awkward conversation and noticing he was visibly blind drunk he then said "So what happens now?... Wanna hook up?".

We were shocked and appalled. We replied with "uhhh, no!" and walked out to our car. It was awkward and gross and terrible. There was no point in telling him we were together because he probably would have just asked us to have a threesome. Ugh!

What a night. Makes me wanna cut my hair short again to detract from these awkward situations! Haha!

Posted with LifeCast

Blogging Via Ipod

2009-06-19T14:38:00.001+10:00

Speaking of technology, since getting my iPod touch, I can't believe how much crap can fit on it and how it is the closest thing to my laptop without actually being a laptop!!

If you didn't guess, I'm blogging from my iPod touch.

Posted with LifeCast

Im Here, I'm Queer...

2009-06-18T16:54:00.000+10:00

After all this hype of Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, blah blah blahs... Im giving in to society and blogging... For real this time. On a semi-constant basis, maybe. When I can. See, i'm a university student and am currently on holidays. Holidays end and then so will my freeeeee time.

I guess you will get to know me as you read my blogs. They're going to be personal, yet public. Individual yet maybe conformist. I just want to write about me, my life, my opinions and the every day shirt that goes on. Yes, I like to swear and don't mind my swears. Yes, I am gay (notice I said gay and not... lesbian) and yes, like you, possibly, I am constantly telling the world to go fuck itself.

So sit back, relax, have a shot of vodka and hold on! I'm going to take you in to my world and you might not come back...